callous paws

hot bags
pulsing waist

cursed tree

it's a party
gather stones
shoot everyone

shooter
hot shot
pulse face

wicked apostrophe
sister sledge
rosebud

callous paws
eat a donut
for god

Winder

Winder
Damner
Facer

Winder

Bleeder
Pauper
Heller
Winder
Winder

Cutter
Cheater
Damner
Fucker

Fucker
Winder

he is not just a sandwich (remastered)

A double steak
Hot to do

Feast
Feast
Feast
He is not just a sandwich

26

bleeding out
on the stairs
of a yarn factory

mimicking death
as the sky
burns at halftime

tiled faces
gleaming softly
in the return line

gliding down
from sugar towers
light stops blinking

aftermath

Who Am Legend?

You am legend

he is not just a sandwich

jovial slugfest
thinner below
empty solarium
miracle grow

feast
he is not just a sandwich
do declare
x marks digestive tract
feast
feast

miracle

Lung Control (Super)

popcorn lung
super control
america core
major kresch
series forms
serious bro
popcorn X
super control
arcadiopolis
metro ganache
panform plane
cosine fluid
tangent prostate
super probate
control top
lung spread
popcorn death
lung control
super control

super control

fiber gales

Tumescent
Blows the wind
Invaluable baubles
Original sin
Giant crevasse
Ginger Lynn
Cold and swarthy
Blows the wind

Shredded tunics
Gave us hope
Snuff your sparkle
Here's a rope
Indelible dirt
Predictable soap
Watson and Crick
Gave us hope

Alleviate
Uncoiling strands
Boiling sweat
From distaff lands
I already told you
Wash your hands
Striking writers
Uncoiling strands

gravitas

As we looked
We faced the shore
Albemarle
Gravitas

When we part
I'll stab your soul
Gramercy
Albacore

A musty book
A plaintive dart
Albermart
Grazeltov

Grover curl
A shirt is world
Albamail
Grazmercore

As whirl lurk
Were forced their shart
Erbemerr
Gremerrkerrt

Whern wer durr
Fur errl ter gerr
Gregerbermer
Erlmerderner

Gerr
Err

time hat (reprise)

Let me get my
time hat
Let me
Let me get my time hat

Time hat (4x)

Time

(c) 2007 Length-Based Haberdashery Musics. All rights reserved.

time hat

Let me put on
my time hat
Please wait
in the foyer
in the pool of blood
Please stand by
Let me put on
my time hat
Let me see
Please stop touching everything
Please keep your hands inside
the car
Let me adjust my brain
Let me put on
my time hat
Time
Hat

starch magnet

Starch magnet
Will we see
The fruits of our
Rigidity

Starch magnet
Illest beats
Issue from your
Mandibles

Starch magnet
Let us prey
Minds are weak
Malleable

Starch magnet
Coaxial dawn
Unnatural warmth
Virility

Starch magnet
We built this
God damn forest
Live in it

man dead

1

Man dead
Lashed by trees
Treed by dogs
Dogged by lashes
Man dead

2

Man alive
Flux variance
Syntax audience
Xanax resonance
Man alive

3

Man overboard
Throw the donut
Lower the weapon
Present with symptom
Man overboard

4

Man down
Cream of sadness
Malt-o-therapy
Divorce flakes
Man down

5

Man dead
Level clear
Checking memory card
Please re-insert controller
Man dead

whimsical landmines

Whimsical landmines
Whistlin' pricks
Tra la la
Get fucked asshole

Dry Sockets

Mining pathos
From saccharine ore
I find you contentious
Lying in the bloody street
Packed with gauze
Mining sympathy
From violent ore
Vaseline on the lens
Camphor dollop
Cracked lips
Mining tears
From bone-dry sockets
Mathematics
Playing Operation
Touching the sides on purpose
Mining schadenfreude
From small talk ore
Here's that nameplate
Here's a pile of organs
Here you go
Wang

Subtle Pants; Microtones

Subtle pants
Microtones

The Ballad of Mike Jones (A Differential Diagnosis in AB Minor)

Mike Jones
Face dysplasia
Mike Jones
Prolapsed eye
Mike Jones
Anus clenching
Mike Jones
Triple vision
Mike Jones
Tub of wood
Mike Jones
Land sandwich
Mike Jones
Carbonated skin
Mike Jones
Clearly Canadian
Mike Jones
Feathered scrotum
Mike Jones
Crush syndrome
Mike Jones
Whale attorney
Mike Jones
Gibbon toucher
Mike Jones
Sympathy brew
Mike Jones
Chaka Khan
Mike Jones
Wild and free
Mike Jones
Quelle apathy

notes on exciting new taste combinations

brie on ritz
plus
gin and tonic
equals
blueberry
muffin

On Contracting Hemorrhagic Fever The Day After Christmas

Dry tree
Black blood
Gift wrap
Agony

tranny sundays

Tranny sundays
Me and Jack Flack
Out on the interstate
High fives and wonder
It was getting late

Tranny sundays
A case of cold reason
A jug of memories
Time slipped away
It was getting old

Tranny sundays
Down in the park
Only handjobs
We learned a lot that summer
It was time to go

It Is Brain

Brain
It is brain

Milk

Brain

Wood

Wood
It

B

MMMM
B

rain

It milk
It wood

Would
Brain?

It is
Milk
Mmmm
Brain
Milk
Would
Julep
Force
Gminski
Wood

Brain milk

Maximum

A small horn grows
In the field
In the canopy of death
In your wildest errors
A maximum

When we reached the end
Of the terrible trek
Sighs were heavy
Welded, ugly vaults
A maximum

The perils of time
The time of your space
The space of your life
Your life is in peril
A maximum

The salt has rotted
The metal clean through
Oxidation state
Electron acceptor
A maximum

Moles upon moles
Days upon eons
Sex upon stairs
Swimming in afterbirth
A maximum

A flying piano
A hint of breakdown
A fretless apocalypse
A stop-loss frenzy
A maximum

captain wizard

captain wizard
stands alone
nothing will
contain him

captain wizard
fights you hard
fights you in
toronto

captain wizard
wailin fierce
shredding hard
for jesus

captain wizard
what is wrong
with a little
captain wizard

def winds

Hark
Gather ye bros while ye may
A def wind blows
Bros
Hark
Come round my place
Have a weiner
It's gettin cold out there
And mighty awesome
In here
Thus blows
The callous breeze
Through haunted nasal passages
With burly symphonies
A breakdown
Of glacial proportions
While your viscera
Dance before your eyes
Surprise
A def wind
Blows
So gather round
Pour a cup of larceny
Savor what you've done
And weep indefinitely
Blow
Def
Finitely

rocking too hard

rocking too hard --
doing business with ghosts
paving your dreams
with sweat and cocaine
taking ghosts to the minimall
under cover of night
to shop at the dollar store
tying scarves to the
proverbial microphone pole
under a hair cover
signing ghostly autographs
at the virgin autoplex
carving symbols of virility
into your face
under cover of drugs
under cover of dreams
ghostly fills
shadowy licks
wailing, hardcore wraiths
look:
you can live the dream, kid
the ghosts are real
if you rock too hard

A Jumping Problem

Jump
Tasty kicker
Hell drive
Saver
Hey saver
Point the way
Jump
Problems are huge
Problems are now
Hell drive
Taste hell
Save kick
Jump
I said
Hell points
Tally up savings
Point up problems
Fucking
Might as well

Jump

hetero sunshine

Beta wind
Coats our ears
Hetero sunshine
Party time

In the days
When we were robots
Roller disco
Lines of entropy
Robot bass
We can't recall
But it was fractal

Alpha dog
Get in front baby
Hetero sunshine
Life is terrific

barnacles time

Heaven help us
Stranded choirboys
Sausage fingers
Barnacles time

Who can notice
Fields of charring
Brave and swarthy
Barnacles time

Night has fallen
Fall has risen
Penthouse letters
Barnacles time

Prayers for rain
Sinatra for chairman
Alas poor Yorick
Barnacles time

Heavens to Betsy
Betsy to shipping
Ship up, shape out
Barnacles time

Clearance low
Morale is high
Have a strong day
Barnaclops

a fall down house

in the land of toes
step lively
you have won
already
dress in folds
junk of worth
step on toes
in the land of tubs
butter chunk
it's a party
featuring animals
you live in
a fall down house
it is time
for apoplexy
fall down dress
chunk tub

wince for gonads

gigawatts (i've seen the future)

They found me
I don't know how
But they found me
Run for it Marty

No Doc
No

a concise failure

let's keep it minimized
friends
let's keep it dumbed down
let's all take it out
while a No One is looking
let's burn off our hair
with hot drama
and nuclear skin
let's fail hard
we are young
everything is happening

sirloin providence

We're taking chunks
We are

We're taking them out
We're matching campaign funds
We're soliciting sex
We're chunking out
We're getting free
Getting consumer
Getting lit on fire
The fire of guilt
The fire of chunk

Peeling skin off the burn
Boris Karloff
Peels your face off
In chunks

Consumers unit
Consumers unite
Sirloins stretch as far
As your mind's eye can see
It's chunks for me
Baby

Providence for nothing
Chunks for free

raw space

zumiez beatdown
i cashed in my scene cred
i got a pile of walnuts
and a handful of emergency
wringing out commas
from my dead hands
off time fills in 13/16
with a live salmon
wringing out sweat
into a denny's carafe
literally dripping with charisma
flashing wild teeth
and shit shoveling grins
american eagle beatdown
motherfucker
wringing out style
from your bloated face
here in this
rubbed raw room
i'll take your life
i'll take your space
grandma facebook
coma treats

+3 against hardcore

Polysaccharide Town

We're packing up
We're setting sail
It's time to rock
Polysaccharide Town

Where dreams are made
Out of the stuff
That dreams are made of
Polysaccharide Town

You'll meet your friends
You'll weep in earnest
You'll make the grade
Polysaccharide Town

Where seldom is heard
A four-letter word
Or a vagrant ghost
Polysaccharide Town

Smiles on the faces
Faces on the people
People everywhere
Polysaccharide Town

Guilt by association
Freedom by liberation
Reproduction by lovemaking
Polysaccharide Town

We'll hoist a glass
We'll pat your back
We'll slit your lying throat
Polysaccharide Town

A good place to live
A good place to die
Fucking hell
Polysaccharide Town

cryptosporidium club

Hey beautiful
It's been a while
Our limbs are longer now
Our minds, sharper
Faces, adjusted
Accounts all frozen
Things haven't been the same
Since Maj. Buntling passed
Since we all got snowman tattoos
Since Adam got the boot
I've been doing well
Just got signed to Interscope
Just made partner at the wheat farm
Just finished up this mustache
New clothes, new skin
New muscle atrophy
I just signed up for this
Cryptosporidium club
Bakesales and protistans
You know how it goes
Well, you take care now
Say hello to your wife
Your children and wild animals
Your dying kingdom
Your crumbling nascent empire
It's been fun asshole
Real fun

Terrific Song Lengths

2:03
2:29
2:56
3:39
3:51
4:34
4:55
5:27
5:58
6:16
7:24
8:59
11:17
12:43
17:38

about that horse program

So
About that horse program
About those comely numbers
About the chalky text
About where we left it
About what it all adds up with
About screwy compasses and headstrong lasses with golden tresses
About strands of DNA blowin in the wind
About youth misspent in backs of cramped autos
About italicized dialogue shouted from rooftops of our dead heroes
About bullets and blankets of dead weight
About horses roamin free as all get out
About man on horse Equus type shit
About the time we all forgot our clothes and wept in the tacky streets
About who it really was at the door
About why we never talk anymore
About taking that horse and just riding into the proverbial sunset
About that horse program

What did you think, anyways

Wrully

G'bah!
Let's hoist anchor, friends
Set sail
For the Isles of Sherm
Armed with salted flesh
And Vitamin C
We're sure to succeed
Cap'n Wrully
Give us enough rope
To choke on
Enough pieces of eight
To have nine or ten
G'bah!
Wrully
You happening wreck
Leave your cares behind
Leaves behind your care
Into the strait we go
Death and glory
Money and ink
Yoopers, all
You god damn
Wrully
G'bah!
Let's hoist sails, fucker
Let's see what happens

(1881)

aerosmith guy (opening salvo)

hey aerosmith fan
i've got your number

hey aerosmith fan
i've got your name

it's fight or flight
it's do or die
it's scarf-doffing time
it's ageless mystic apoplexy
it's throwing of the proverbial gauntlets
it's awesome time

hey aerosmith fan
let's do this

(exeunt)

frozen hotel bathroom

this way
says the indian on the wall
to regret

frozen on the floor
supplies in hand
let me reach
let me reach for my

icy air
indian laughs
lights flicker and dim
eyes wide open but

let me reach for my

theres some kind of
chemical on the carpets
theres some kind of
presence in the mirror
in the room

its black and i
let me reach for my
let me

frozen on the floor
arms shredded
eyes wide open but
icy air fills the room
and the halls

its grey
let me
let me reach

frozen
let me reach for my

worst boner ever

I

Eight is enough
Just the ten of us
Eight is enough
Nine and a half weeks

II

The cold
Cpl Damon Buntling
Reaches for his gun
It's empty
It's there
The cold
Damon

III

Justified
And ancient
Top 40
Sing it honey
Breaking glow sticks
On the dance floor
Anciently
Presciently
Totally

IV

China is here
Mr Burton

V

Dam burst
Veins swell
Coprophagia
Nightmare living hell
Sign my cast
Touch my face
Worst touch ever
Please

Albion (God Bless Your Cursed Face)

I don my wife beater
In the snow
Albion

Golden shafts of love
Pierce my brain
Pierce my soul
Hot damn
Albion

I curse the day
You took my shit
In the snow
Albion

Taste the pain
Smell your options
It's looking up for the
Six-month bond
Chief operating douche
Albion

I don my bandanna
I ban Madonna
I man a band on ya
Hot broccoli
Albion

It's got to be
Wicked free
In the snow
Time has come
Albion

You Can No Longer Use The Machine

Fuck all
What is your matter
What is your person
Timer is the system
Dave is the machine
Fuck all
In the night
Your number is 12,000
Your face is a windmill
Your matters are machine
Cold hands
Warm face
The camps are the system
Dave is the machine
Cold is the matter
Timer is fuck
You can no longer use the machine
You can no longer use the machine

You can no longer use the
Machine

(Fade)

penis becomes arm

the vampires
they are here
the vampires

a double dribble
a slam dunk
a forest of small nails
a carpeted love,
a dream
a dream of vampires

in the toasty night
penis becomes arm
face becomes dream
vampires become guidos
zombie turns into a ash
sproik

a carpeted dream
of furrowed love
and a toasty penis

arms wide
god smiles
penis vampires
why not

a swiftly barking horse

A barking horse
A plain horse
Plainly, barking
Calling out to
Us
Calling
Barking
Pawing the red dirt
Baleen glistening
Fins bare
Swiftly
Bark to us
Let us know
Is it OK
Is it fine now
No one in the well
No one in the sea
No one there
Listen pal
It is OK
It's time to ride
It's OK to ride
Swiftly
Barking
Get with the program
Get with horse

Bro On Down

Bro on down
Bro

Bro
Brah
Some beers
Maybe a little
DMB
You know
Brah

Bro on down

Collar up
Hair up
Face up
It is time
To bro

Bro on down
Bro
Brah

Bro

hidden accumulation of sea vegetables: II

A

Polysaccharides
Too clever by half
Triglycerides
Havin a laugh
Lainaria japonica
In the wet breeze
Below the seas
Is the fear
Keep chortling
Demise

B

Trace element
Oil rig
See some light below

C

Knew this was one way ticket
But you know I had to come
Cracked breaths
The pressure
Keep talking

D

Juilliard called
Your future is on line two
Please accept this kelp
As a gift
Transcontinental rift
Abyssal plains
Fish without faces
The fear
The black
Jerry

E

Raise your hand
If you think
That was
A Russian water tentacle

Chicken Right

Pull up a board
And get your chicken right

Eat yo chicken
Get yo chicken
Eat yo chicken
Get yo
Eat yo

Pull up a board
And get your chicken right

furtive dongs 3: friday after next

where dongs fear to tread
we'll be there
listen up sally
listen real tough
when dongs are outlawed
then you know what
take your feathered bangs
and get the fuck


this is how we do it
it's friday night

Fall Off A Cliff In The Hot Sun

Crumbling Dan
He been down
He been down that road
Crumbler

Marriage sword
Gleams above the doorway
Crumbling Dan
Gleams above the doorway

Fall off a cliff
In the hot, hot sun
Baking down
Baking down

Crumbling Dan
Married and impoverished
Knees scraped to God
A dried out chicken finger
Rubbed with dust

Dusty crumbles
Sword of God
Hot, hot cocks
You know the drill

Bananas Face Map

Bananas face map
There it goes

Bananas face map
A sterling silver dream of wet memories

Bananas face map
Taking the time to improve accountability

Bananas face map
We have seen the future

Blessed and meek
Washed of improbable sins
Ready for weaponry
Bananas face map

solemn breakbeats

solemn breakbeats
on the eve of your father's
untimely demise
clapping hard
arms outstretched for jesus
i always thought it was
i just can't get it up
but we were wrong
we were so wrong
solemn hand jives
in the corner
with small movements so as
not to make any noise
solemn b-boy epithets
hurled from tinted windows
of entourage hearses
endless posturing and
steaks of synthesized meat
bottles of cristal
littering future tombs
on the day your father
bit the metaphorical dust
solemn steaks
served on platters of failure
god bless your rhymes
god save our beats
ugh

hey martial arts fan

we go way back
how about we go out for
some organic carrots
remember the time
everything went wrong
and you fell off a cliff
into a dojo of wonder
martial arts fan
i wish you well
i wish you dead

a assload of feelings

girl
shit just got real

shawty i never meant to
hurt you

for real dawg
for real

this time

dip command

Ruler of the seas
Leviathan
Command us

Breakfast at Chico's
Chorizo with hot sauce
Command us

Commander Keen
Staying out real late
Ruler

Chico for Treasurer
Lifetime king of impotence
Lord mercy

When I dip
You dip
We dip

bride of crunch face

I

Oh ho!

II

Oh no
uh-oh

III

She will be loved (4x)

IV

Nuh-uh

son of crunch face

saunter outta wal-mart
like a dirty robot
comin out the post office
with an axe to bear
and a cross to grind
strollin outta tesco
with a nine in my face
doin business with robots
in the dark sun
taking axes to the post office
with robots on crosses
cut your losses
it's egression time
mosey out a day spa
with two days severance
jumpin out a elevator
at just past noon
the time is now
the end is soon
dirty robots in flight
after death delight

GRBAP

GRENDEL SAYS, HEY YOU TRY THEM POTATO CHIPS YET
GRBAP
GRBAP
GRUNTS AND SQUEALS OF FEATHERED MERCY
GRBAP
GRENDEL PACKS UP AND MOVE ALL HIS SHIT OUT
OUT THE DOOR
OUT OF THE UNDERWATER RUINS INTO A LUXURY STUDIO
OUT INTO THE URBAN WILD
WHERE THE CAKES ARE TASTY
AND THE BEATS ARE FLY
GRBAP
GRUNTS AND SQUEALS FROM A VICTROLA
ON THE EDGE OF THE FREEWAY
STILL PICKING UP SIGNALS
FROM 1983
GRENDEL SIDLES UP TO A FASTBURGER
AND TAKES BITES OUT OF THE SCENERY
GRENDEL WAS SET UP FROM THE WORD GO
GRENDEL MADE IT ALL STANDING UP
GRUNTS AND SQUEALS OF CHILDISH HORROR
AND JAWS DRIPPING WITH LIFE
IT'S GO TIME MOTHERFUCKER
BEG FOR MERCY
GRBAP

a brief apology

our apologies

the poem that previously occupied this space
was taken down for maintenance
then we thought better of it
and set it on fire
and pushed it out to sea
in a proper viking burial

thanks
TTS management

a snarling boat

a snarling boat
a snarling, ugly, brutal boat
a boat of no kindness
a boat of influenza and viral loads
a boat with jagged teeth and unforgiving lips
a jugular-severing boat
an unfeeling boat
a boat without morals
a boat without conscience
a boat perpetually on the edge of total chaos
a boat of entropy
a sick, stained and evil boat
a boat of deep and soulless black
a boat with a disturbed mind
a boat where light cannot escape
a boat apart
a boat alone
a snarling boat

DMX and the infinite sadness

the bottle of resolve
for pet stains
on the darkened desk
crusted white
source magazine torn to shreds
glistens in the night

a tear stained hallway
lit by failure
carpeted with hair loss
and furnished with bankruptcy

spirits in the chimney
chimney sweep in the phone book
not having been retained
for chimney sweeping services
cause that shit is haunted

i finger my gold chains
brow heavy with sweat and
teeth clenched with sweat and
pants grey with sweat

stacks of ones
litter the pale landscape
a chair toppled, a weight
a weight there
a melted platinum stench

where did it all go
and where did it all not
things i mutter under my breath
as i walk to the carriage house
both of us in disrepair

lost everything, and found
an endless column of ghosts and lies
crack another steel reserve
and the soul just dies
the dogs need to go outside
the dogs need to go outside

ascetic velcro

a diminished, sustained, major seventh trailed by the dismembered ghost of a rat

the process of seeing all things, followed by the process of getting thrown out of a bar

a clean break with the tactile world and a clean fracture of your scaphoid

a monk jumping off an embankment into a sea of graphite

the late ones, the early kings, the new bullets, the ancient arrows

being swallowed by a magnificent cephalopod at 40 fathoms

the action taken by a throng of angry widows holding burning guns

frozen children, thawed organelles

stacks of flattened, fluid-filled tubules

meat, anger, memory loss

images of tasty knifes

toxoplasmosis

new eons

velcro

bacon christ: at world's end

a blinding flash of light
on the grill horizon

sky an imperious burning pink
sky all greased with sunspots
sky dripping down

staving off the hunted millions
the hunting thousands
the hundreds of calories
tens of blotting paper
and stacks of ones

a blinding flash of light
through the pockmarked stratosphere

bacon christ
fear the end

flying piano

a flying piano
can you do it
a flying piano
can you take the chance

a whale time
a whale piece
a piece of a horse
a horse timer

a flying piano
i'll take you there
a flying piano
i'll jump on that grenade

a time for wraiths
a time for yeast
frothy frothy frothy
and how

flying piano
you decide

Chlumsky: a lightly salted offering of words

strawberry love on an arugula cloud
cheers, mate
chlumsky
you fucking brute
here's that drink you wanted
here's that fish you salted
here's that memory you repressed
you fucking miscreant
itemizer, atomizer
not quite womanizer
not quite salted, not quite covered in tears
cheers, cap'n
for strawberry flavored miracles
for gelatin prophylactics
for galaxies of missed opportunities and
embarrassing efforts
here's that girl who laughed in your ugly face
you fucking beast
magnus
cheers, friend
it's best of times worst of times time
it's go time
it's condoms and strawberry cake
raining from the dead sky
chlumsky
you fucking miracle
why ask why

appendectomy sketch

me and old man reiser
on the hilltop
a pair of cards if I ever saw!

we traded scalpels
and admired the failing light
o'er the burning mortuary

it grew late
and we packed up our things
and sashayed down the freeway

later that year
i found out he died in a boating accident
and i wept whale tears

we scattered his ashes
against the backdrop of the frozen north
and never spoke of it again

it's all true
i got cut open
it actually happened

bone free

whirly and bone
free

as the monolith(s) rise from
the flattened face
of b-movie icon
steve railsback

bone free

free to roam the dead earth
a dearth of foam
a tree of read
a trauma to the brain socket
a trip to the market with the milkmaid
a brutal and vainglorious legerdemain
a rail, back

free of roaming charges
and free money to change your life
thanks mr lesko
now i've got the aids again

so it came to pass
bone free

Notes on the Cast of a Shell Oil Promotional Video

Faber is the Jaap
Teunissen as Max
Teunissen as Max
Faber is the Jaap

Jaap
Max
Faber
Teunissen
Jaap

I Will Make You Live in a Castle

I will make you live in a castle

You'll see to the end of your problems there
You'll drink from gold-plated fountains
You'll see the end of the tunnel
You'll make breakfast in a dimly lit nook
You'll see gods and horrors
You'll think of better times
You'll see to the end of that bottle

I will make you live in a castle

new song

andy gibb hang a shower rod
andy gibb go free
andy gibb get a shower cap
andy gibb go free

sam beam take a paper route
sam beam to fly
sam beam with a paper cut
sam beam to fly

rufus wainwright on the mountain
rufus wainwright apart
rufus wainwright with an alpenhorn
rufus wainwright apart

jill sobule sending telegrams
jill sobule in tears
jill sobule on the telehorn
jill sobule in tears

gg allin renewing Time
gg allin on line 2
gg allin timing renewals
gg allin on line 2

lou bega take a break now
lou bega per mile
lou bega breaking them bones
lou bega per mile

kevin seconds on a hovercraft
kevin seconds is there
kevin seconds on the telecraft
kevin seconds is there

amy winehouse in a farmhouse
amy winehouse has been
amy winehouse on a bone farm
amy winehouse has been

andy seconds on a telebeam
kevin bega per craft
sam winefarm on the alpentime
gg wainwright is free

limit break mechanics

you can send this person
things over the
internet

you can make lead sandwiches
and mail them into
the wet century

you can go to art school
and wake up in a
finnish dumpster

you can break your face
twice in the same
glorious epoch

you can go swimming
in a vast sea of
melted vanadium

you can have twigs and
eat them, also
and are they ever good

you can beat ruby weapon
you just have to
kill two of your guys first

the kingdom

Us, kings of malaise
With the headlamps out
Kings of nostalgia
Dukes of crisis
Arch-earls of impotence
Serfs of oil change

On our thrones of
Two car garage
Subprime glory
Mayonnaise on hand
Histrionic and proudly failed
Our thrones of
Beaten down

In the kingdom of
Midlife sex
Hairlines in the oatmeal
Payments in exchange
Packages in the mail
Hairlines in the breeze
Sex in the wine cellar
No one has a wine cellar
No one has a hairline
With the headlamps out
With the hairlines out
With the pharmaceuticals out
With the pride out
With the despair out
Malaise, mayonnaise
No raise

Kings of submission
Four oh one, kay

hidden accumulation of sea vegetables (part 1)

A

Thorax movement
By the gods

Losing at Simon
Time and
Time again

Hands shaking
Call Guinness

B

Juilliard dropouts
Brilliant autistic jewels
Tarnished leather trees
Piles of krill
On the side of I-95
A red tide
An ebb face
A dropout

C

See some light below
It's the red wire with the blue stripe
Not the black wire with the yellow stripe

D

Trees with ice
Trees with corpse paint
Trees with failing skin
Trees under the water
Kelp under the water
Children in the kelp
Help
Kelp
Yelp

E

Seafloor antics
Juilliard beats
Freezing trees
Wheat charades
Massive options
Partial options
Partial beats
Seafloor trees

(Entr'acte)

barn of osiris

It's over there
Right over there
Yes sir

immortals wind-surfing

a pleasure cruise
through the halls of grendel
all time, all space
table salt and hydrogen oxide
axes in the breeze

and who will win
this severed trunk
this chest of ill gotten gains
this cursed rock
and who will win

blast furnace eyes
and windswept chests
biceps descending on
golden shafts of blood
sailing

pour me another manhattan
and hand me the Tyrfing
i've gods to slay
and gnarly waves
to ride

Adrian Zmed

Adrian Zmed
Your shining face
Your brutal arms
Your weathered hairline

Adrian Zmed
Your films of gold
Your wreaths of wisdom
Your icy jet

Adrian Zmed
Your time on earth
Your business there
Your time to rock

Get your shit
It's time to rock
Adrian Zmed
Adrian Zmed

mobile screaming face

it hovers
it hovers
it hovers
it hovers

it is looking
it is looking
it is looking
it is looking

it knows
it knows
it knows
it knows

oh god

wheedly bree

wheedle and bree,
he said

in the cold sun
we watched our subprime mortgage
burst into gray flames
and squealed

wheedle and bree,
he always said

old man macready
in the shed behind
costco

in the cold sun
we stood and watched as
our 401k
slit its wrists

old man macready
like a silver demon
like a withered god
like spinning shopping cart wheels
that lockup at the edge
of the parking lot

wheedle and bree
wheedle
bree

YARN BARN

YARN
BJORN
TORN
FJORD
STELLAR PROBLEMS
ABYSMAL ACCORD
KEVIN BUSINESS
FELLATIO SWORD
HOARDING DUMPS
FIGHTING LORDS
FIGHTING PROBLEM
AWESOME LORD
IT IS AWESOME
IT IS GOURD
BULIMIC WINTER
VAGINAL ROAR
BARN OF OSIRIS
BARN OF TIME
BARN OF MANY
BARN OF YARN
IT IS TIME
IT IS YARN
BJORN
YARN
BARN

the

looming violence on the guilt horizon
hubris salvos from a wax cannon
lurid missives in the wet darkness
charnel breakfast in a carrion saucer
icy rhymes and jubilant beatings
all of this and deleted scenes
all of this and pretend genitals
all of this and despair clothes
icy beats and stilted choruses
angel breath on your dead face
men on platforms
children screaming
robots preparing solutions
protistans at the bottom of an acidic pit
cameras everywhere
best of times worst of times
and gleaming glistening groaning there
the









(wait for it

seething bliss

are you seething yet
how about now
are you crying yet
how about now
are you buying yet
how about now
are you fucking yet
how about now
are you breathing yet
how about now
are you thinking yet
how about now
are you getting yet
how about now
are you shedding yet
how about now
are you prying yet
how about now
are you dying yet
how about now
bliss in bliss out
fluid in fluid out
cash in cash out
day in day out
rock in rock out
in out
in out
are you there yet

well how about now

author's use of the prison

Symbolism
Embolism
-bol, sym-, em-, -ism
You got my baby cryin
You're a vegetable
Protistan
0.0 Pitchfork rating
Doomed to cafes
Multicellular
You are vegetable
On a plane
Guitar solos
Plucking eyebrows on a deserted beach
You can't feed the baby
You a vegetable
Handclaps and gospel choirs
Bell end in the ether
Balls right out
How does the author's use of the
P|R|I|S|O|N
Symbolize

holy gibberish nucleotides

flying out the back my covered wagon
i stand before you
holding a withered bouquet of shits
this particular amino acid sequence
determined that you are a
grade A douche

kanye vs. 50
faith vs. reason
free will vs. determinism
alien vs. predator
chemistry and physics
atrocities and crayons
parts and stuff
man
it's all there

driven to atrophy

prosser keeton

prosser
dobbs
keeton
dobbs
prosser
keeton
lafave
dobbs
wexler
baxter
drexler
paxton
keeton
lafave
dobbs
keeton
prosser
wexler
prosser

skip it, chris

stop sulking
and start living the dream
pogobal be damned
this is a time
for rotating
count your revolutions
and breathe easy
as the rewards pile in
let the naysayers drown
in a pool of nay
this shit is for real
skip it
it's the only way

the other time we all got shot in the face

weird cough,
beard-off --
near the county line
prancing through the midsection
baring our midriffs
to the middle class
holy fucking christ
the horizon belches out a sunset
for any weak enough to care
measuring our beards
in the dead of night
starved for complacency
sure of it

old man carruthers
on the back porch
clutching a handbag and screaming bloody arson to the junk sky
balls aflame
he went into kitty's and never came out

open sores, breakfast cereals
tales of a lost boner
images of elite minstrels
adorned, encrusted
sleek with hair
rotten to the arteries

then we all got shot in the face
it was a weird day

the will to ill

the will to ill
comes from tin
read the message on the
high school stoop
and as we pondered
our bleak futures
it spoke to me
laughing the laugh of
godless heathens
whither goest thou
mein hausfrau
will
ill
tin
the more you know

enantiomers

emasculated wraiths
on the outskirts of the industrial park
gather in heated silence
throwing their dice
and gnashing their vapor teeth
in anticipation
of the tasty brutal end

in the mirror
glucose rings
boxes upon boxes of discarded life parts
towers of entropy

making the band

inky despot (a dateline exclusive)

A.

how come
you go out one side
you come in the other
how that gonna work
how that be real
not even mention
the dots we eat
how come

B.

your throne is weak
your carpet threadbare
your eyes belie a grave truth
your slack mouth
your immaculate forearm hair
your creased ears and
your cigarette bruises
your time is up asshole

C.

at dawn we rose
and went to funplex
it was the same
as any other day
and we laughed and spent
our currency
broadly
at dawn

D.

inky
pinky
blinky
clyde
i ate them all
and now what

gel flashbacks

flew around hesperia
on the wings of dead pundits
in a ray bath

echoed off the canyon walls
a distant groan
from michael richards

i know you were lying
when you told us
you were lying

i spent all this money
to tape my penis
to a famous futurecar

remember the time
we emptied the tiny shampoo bottles
into a pot of gold

i don't either

wallop-packer

go forth i said
cleaving a prattle bike
and hording the wallops
singularity swallowing
your bloated face
ululating wildly from yon treetops
jalalabad horse blues
tananarivo rice importer
banana cream futures
muu-muu elf party
xoxo, brit-brit

shawty snappin'

letters to ghost dad

dear ghost dad
i just switched to geico
i just painted your face
on a holy mountain
i just caved in

dear ghost dad
things haven't been the same
since ol man carruthers
hung himself
in the back of an adult cinema

dear ghost dad
we're on the brink of sanity
we're taking it to the limit
we're dancing in the streets
we got served

dear ghost dad
i learned it by watching you

get out of my dreams

also get into my car

binary breakfast

you're a real card officer jim
you're a real character
you gave me a trapper keeper
you made me this origami pan flute
you made a lightly coded breakfast for the whole family
you took us all to wal-mart and we saved and saved
you cleared the nearby forest of landmines
you danced naked in the icy streets
you brought hand stamps for the kids
you got both ill and busy
you shot down those who would seek to destroy us
you drew us pictures of flying anatomy
you sold us a shitload of freedom
you're a real son of a bitch officer jim
you're a god damn diamond

leviathan camp

bus came early
grabbed my rucksack
mom pats head
shoves out door
breathes relief sighs

drove to the ocean
singing screaming squirming
one last listless gasp
of pre-adolescence
on the road to the abyss

tentacles of the kraken
from the horizon rise
we stood in awe
sea of small mouths beckon
wall of cephalopodic horror

hey mom
it's alright
i'm doing OK
here
on the ocean floor
in the arms of
leviathan

24-Hr. Poor

the last time we were there
our skin fell off
and a chorus of carrion flesh
sang a grim chorus
to no applause

pockets empty, hearts aflame
romantic notions, fond memories of
total bullshit

caroming off the walls
ears and eyes ringing
blood and sweat remoulade

if
you shut your eyes real hard
you might almost imagine
you didn't do the things
you did

you better call tyrone

A Large Bacon Statue

Across the feathered plain
Clothed in grease and light
Iambic and carnal
Beckon

Multiple throngs of feral children
Jogging through the night sky
Varied and apoplectic
Fluid

Crunchy bliss
Marital aid symphony
Translucence

Marvel
Tall and porous
Calling to its retarded flock
Bilious above the crumbling interstate

Starved
Empty and passive
Willing brains for repurposing
The cold hand of a bacon demigod descends

mon petit mouchoir

eek verbeeken
rijkstaad kanaalstrasse
ja speciaal fries

ich bin problem child
eine kleine washout
ach mein lieben, ist verboten
wolf it

kore watashi no meeshi desu
welcome oprah fans

une certaine je ne sais quoi
un boner
il y a des sandwiches dans le refrigerateur

aye yai yai no es bueno

tongue charnel

savory breakfast melodies
impartial yarn champion
summoned hair beast
fruitious amuses-bouches
guv'na

self-effacing scream
threadbare childhood

the wrong are right
philosopher, philanthroper, philanderer
fellater
fluffy pillows so delicious and golden
doing lines off a waffle press

black your tongue
nobleface

Brain (Protected)

Here the feel
The caress
Of my brain

Beckon yon gusts
Of farthest land
Heed the call
Brain

If this be death
This be some serious shit

Protected, protracted
Impacted, detected
Genuflected
Big-ass brain

We were youngins then
Picking churches out
The interstate
Waifin' hard

Brain
It is brain

Brain

On Meat Scaling

Stroke a forehead
Make it rain on them hoes
When we gonna
Scale back that meat

Taping a beating
Foot races at Wal-Mart
Jump into savings
When we gonna
Scale back that meat

Monstrous ischemia
Forest of barnacles
When we gonna
Scale back that meat

Window to hysteria
Unnamed landmass
Back to school sale
When we gonna
Scale back that meat

Ooh that meat

inertia ward fury

I don't think there was any head on it
that she slept only hours
I don't pretend God exists, I'll tell you
the old man is doddering now
choosing the right programming,
the crypt ceases to rock

in order to avoid the sky
the rest is expected to be used to create
offshore artificial reefs
or head for "upland" disposal

although I am not in the position to assess,
I slice proportions by dragging
Changez Chamchawala's reply
a fine and happy irony, two boxes of gold
how you want to handle log entries

I don't think I could leave if Moiraine told me I could
I don't ever had a membership card anyway
I don't want a woman as couldna shit nor piss

note that the background mode does not apply to bitmaps

oh no vato

get down vato
surely get down
beasts of thunder
valley high
stolen moments
a fire below
get down vato
it is time
take your gats
and become stoked
o puerile vato
strong and free
it's time to rock
fuck this shit

BASEMENT DOWN

live through a rain of small people
we came through the wax forest
with AB negative for everyone
who's thirsty

and jaws dripping with syntax
we did do the 5 for $5 deal
we did eat some sandwiches
we did come again

pants down in an antimony cloud
fearful symbols emblazoned on the apple cheeked laser printers
intravenous love and extracurricular death
taxes, weight and marzipan
do all we can

live through the age of ebola
chiptole BBQ snack wraps and heavy breathing
stomach churning sex and easy money
word jumbles and sudoku soaked in spinal fluid
tires thrown from buildings
cables, tin cans
imminent astatine, permanent chernobyl

do the rockaway

and now

surround sound unemployment
deluxe poverty
empty checking account w/bangin' rims
rich corinthian destitution
stack of unpaid bills w/mountain view
stylish, upscale despair
haute couture failure

i make frustration look good

magic tag

we know this
we hold this self evidence to be true
we came in on business
from bismark
to get busy
we don't even
or maybe we do
we luv jah
we bought the secret ok
we were out back smoking a side of ox
we ripped the tag off
we look good in lab coats and sparkling strap-ons
we know where
we know why
we practice magic in the basement
we live in the basement
we basement
we hold this tag
we hold you in our tentacles of erotic fortitude
we make maps for them
we get motherfucking busy
all us

man of bismuth

A.

cold step
grills blazin
you couldn't share
my umbrella

B.

ella ella ella
hey hey hey
ella ella ella
doing lines in the back of furrs cafeteria

C.

dermarr surveys the scape
nods frequently
adjusts ice
prepares to blow the shit out

D.

good bad gone girl
this hot is why i is
now, it walk out

E.

life support
tech support
chain support
shoulders groan and creak
download this hot new ringtone

F.

men of bismuth
men of ice
girl of business
child of dogmatic pragmatism
family of penis
we surround you

summer chum face

inbred laughs
solemn feast
take the mumps
stroke the beast

summer chum
fetid gifts
surgical magic
forehead lifts

faces wrought
limbs a flailin
just gave birth
to ed van halen

you opened wide
to show your ice
and when you roared
we heard you twice

and so with heavy
heads and hands
we started hella
klezmer bands

that summer was
a world of walls
please stop trying
to touch my balls

internet (not internet)

zeroing in on
youth explosion
lobe erosion
internet

massive psychic
sex disruption
hormone eruption
internet

shrine to semen
shrine to commerce
for better or worse
internet

making stars from
worthless chattel
so many cattle
internet

the highest lows
the lowest highs
close your eyes
internet

down the road
recoiled in terror
stone from stares of
internet

keeps on ticking
keeps on growing
where are you going
internet

spoiled earth
retarded zenith
vagina + penis =
internet

marburg outbreak at the waffle house

syrup for blood
waited outside the place
yellow yellow tape
biohazard suits
and childish horror

adolescent grenades
young wonder liquefied
pouring out your eyes
there went the
neighborhood

rhesus nightmare
homework left unfinished
black smears on a
pre-algebra worksheet
siren flash

level four operations
suits in suits in suits
military conspiracy
and still there remains
my waffles

Mycorrhizae

more ice than a jacob cross
more man lumps than a symphony of male anger
more shotgun than a weapons storage bunker
more amphetamines than suburbia
more wind than a field of cinematic wheat
more player than any club in dnvr
more echo than a gigantic resonance tank
more think than a series of brains
more size than a girth convention
more juleps than fourteen rows of horse fans
more youth than an arrangement of fetuses
more helicopter than northrop grumman
more bounce than an 808 buried in a jheri curl
more sky than underground sky parties
more water than the extras case at starbucks
more laser than 10 robots
more fungus than all forests, ever
morel

Epicor

Sexual system
Open system
Magnanimous system
Ampoules and lively stars
Headphones and horse programmes
Making wood and making qualm
Wolving up
There, down the freeway
Stood that system
Gleaming its grey light
Across the opolis
Your time is entered
Man the forward shit
Get into a programme
And get paid

Epicor
A place for your mouth
And your mouth
Shines
Brightly
Hella
Epicor

about last night

i just set fire to a skein of sexuality


I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
I HAVE TO BE COMPATIBLE WITH THAT
I GOTTA DO THIS
CAPITAL LETTERS ARE FAIRLY GREAT
JUST A SECOND THEN
OKAY?

we have robot

there
in a field of rotten stars
gleaming and visceral
primed to operate
it is robot

with great robot
we proceed through aisles
of wonder and doubt
and wipe clean the slate
of impossibility

trust the soul of robot
feel the weight of robot
break the seal of robot
blend the ways with robot
jewels of irrevocability
fears collapse
hope reigns

a symbol of mechanical bliss
emblazoned upon the scorched sky
a place
a time
a dream that manifested itself in
the golden grim reality
of robot

we are clear for robot
ensue

various types of beats

mutilated beats
new beats
unfilled prescriptive beats
anatomical wonder beats
female beats
taking it back to wal-mart beats
yacht beats
mechanical prosthesis beats
inflamed area beats
diamond encrusted landmine beats
creepshow 2 beats
rogue militant compound beats
trigonometry beats
performance anxiety beats
free radical beats
burning religious text beats
braille beats
entirely absent beats
sleeping with the light on beats
capers and lemon reduction beats
juvenile hall beats
chain restaurant beats
juilliard dropout beats
failing upward beats
chopped, screwed, beaten, pureed and regurgitated beats
free range beats
waffle beats
foreign quagmire beats
schoolgirl beats
wireless internet beats
bratz motion picture soundtrack anxiety beats
clockwatcher beats
impaled beats
no beats
all beats
featuring total societal collapse on tracks 6, 7 and 18
produced by brain cloud

Geosynchronous Salad Dressing

Alluvial load
Cleft emblem
Hair bakery
Thoughts of pre-arrest

Seven of eight
Calamitous engorgement
Wet business

Upon reflection
We marinate
Syrup crystallizes

Immeasurably green
Geosynchronized
And tasty as fuck

It's going down

arvus prow: land attorney

fruit of the
poisonous

tree

ultravires

hectares of burnt-ass wildscape
stretched as far as your eyes would go

we divide
squares if squares
squares upon lines upon rows upon

pen > sword
sword > face
face > land

written it was in a giant torn book
and filed

arvus exits the courthouse
his ducks in rows
his fate sealed

fruit of the poisonous tree

zapped thrice

a blatant churn for worms
a churning death for all
a deathly turn of pence
a pensive time to wait
a timely war of counts
a counting down of minds
a mindful wind to issue
a winding throb in veins
a throbbing worm with blood
a bloody reminder of youth
a youthful grin of emptiness
an empty hall of loss
a losing scalp to failure
a failing heart of election
an elective surgery of laughter
a surgical slice of retinae
a slicing gush of celebrity
a celebrated fall from grace
a graceful trip to lunacy
a lunatic in your bathtub
a bathing beauty corrodes
a beautiful loss
zapped

christ maneuver

house stands still
for bits

drill into thought --
wrest favor

at pulling straws,
we manage

to swim through
idea blocks

into the sky:
sex flight

above it all
gourds operate

cross the streams
bad egon

You Obtained +2 Terror Shorts

You obtained the +2 Terror Shorts
You earned 27 pieces of failure
Omarion gained a level!
Sadness increased
Popularity decreased
Ability to talk to women decreased
Became strong vs. robots

(a long day of) robots

there in the valley,
we rested atop a melted face
of modern classics

from within the compound
they emerge

i comb my fingers slightly
through its
titanic hair

oil
shared

welshing on a bet
made in 1903 by people
we are not even related
to

the robot; majestic and free
able to scale small people
in a single failure

when technology and emotion
collide
nobody wins

first post

crosswise centroid

in the shadow of celebrity
making safety-scissor paste-ups
and weeping hysterically

regulate the limbs

in the development downwind
riding broken ambulances
and grabbing at landmines

educate in silence

in reference to your email
taking a running jump
into an elevator shaft

terminate my employment

stellar waffle

ambulance damage
comin out the planet
like your face out a cannon
killin flies at the galleria
cold step to diarrhea
malaria beats at the wilderness forest
illness up all your grillness
the stillness
motherfuckin energy billness
a person just killed us
living in a building
on the outskirts of consciousness
i stole this wheelbarrow
and we sold it for a pile of dust
wilderness trust
on the microphone is crust
so like damn
how you like me back then
back when
my head was attached to a whale
attached to fail
destined to make it hail
my shit is now on sale

you just ran out of hit points, bitch

brain-trouble

we sat and sipped
our bowl of hair
there

i think about juice
you think about new jack city
we think about
it's fresh

slim winds blow our
mouths astray
six pack of scissor light
empty and crushed
our foreheads bruised

aching sun sets behind
a wall of information
could not think straight

and there we left our minds
in a smoking pile
covered in failure
the future awaits
tiny and uproarious
and still

that was why i was hot,
earlier

sensitive plant

wafflemaker
sensitive plant
punch it until it is destroyed
blueberry bunch of, OK
yeah bro
we are wafflemaker and this song is called
maximum waffle output
punch it until it is destroyed

PICK SLIDE INTO SOLO!!!

(all rights reserved)

a time for bears

a weekend
of bears

and as we walked
from the chez artiste
to the car

bears

descended on golden ropes
angel breath
hope sprang internal

they called to us
in heathen dulcet tones
"fear not
fucking humans"

we took their crusted paws
we danced in the rain
we wept together
cleansed
renewed
overjoyed

in the time of bears we
realized
our true motives
our actual purposes
lives were changed
that day

climbing trees
in an eternity
of ursal bliss

bears

popular

come darkness
envelop new birth
style crisis

summon we
the grim bringer
of ennui

laughing so
terrified and brave
cold front

bestial frenzy
black our nails
scraping by

end comes
blank and warm
we're chosen

lost time

A.

arranged on stilts on hills
beckon now the crash
call of peristalsis
deliver us
exeunt

B.

rictus terrifying and wholly bleak
shines through the gloom
topples our bravery
underneath now --
victory

C.

kept
quiet
keep
stop
quiet

D.

for all the new cognoscenti
gifted in their sneers
hell, gaping, awaits
invisible, cold,
justified

E.

lost to the coming age
marooned on conceptual islands
never looking back
omit ourselves
posthaste

hangblow 2: armed and fabulous

mirth
corruption
all aboard

anthony wong in
ebola syndrome

o darth
o bilirubin raft
o and were i deigned to rest upon laurels such as this
o all right

we just laughed
left
bereft of brain
impulsive and beautiful in our
drained pitchers

hanging from the wire
building buildings
only ever go there to see how it all works

we blow away
we blow toward
insolvent and variant and insubordinant and
mellifluous
melismatic wonder on spaceships headed for the works
hang us already

Illegal Action (Has Been Performed)

pants aloft
Haruk!
there a yon worthing
getn head from a b'ar
A B'AR
luna tinker
zero improvisational worthing
you make,
you become nearl
you think nearl
someone approach the bench
babar
B'Ar
Hey face
There a, there is a
NURT
NURT B'AR

Saving up amounts of cash to put into a mobile vagina factory
Do dishes/walk dog
Takin class field trip to the ol nurt bar
Worthing a giant prasticis
Amending dong units
Wheelies off a blade made of face
For Jesus

B'AR, There a b'ar in thur forest
Inna up all up in a thur over thur (what it do what it do)
Festive and bromous
Among a weed carriage
Restart?
Shut down?

I Just Rolled a 20 Charisma

Nubian lapel
Stork fighter
A incorrection

Gelatinous: blessed
Climbing stance
Avian delights
Neatly folded inadequacy

Hey current events
Hey absolute repellent evil
Hey that's evil

Window blanket
Monstrous compendium
2112

Staving off the thrills of going downhill
Basement missive
The perfect ones
Halberd
Halcyon
Hallo

Crawl back inside
Direct deposit
Afterbirth
Loss
Running out of
Skin

Welded and bleak

max hair

Isn't
Give place
Give location.
We will need
It
Digits America
You're losing pieces

This scalp is optional
stop-loss/max-hair/inescape
Lop it all off lop it all off
All off all off all off
Off off offering
Ring

You are correct
You are always correct____ OK
You are always correct____ Yes
You are always correct____ Sure
You are always correct____ Sounds good
You are always correct____ I agree
You are always correct____ Definitely

Definitely no hair in the driveway
Definitely
Max it max it max it max it max it You are always correct
Digit hair
Isn't
Isn't
Isn't
File's corrupt

magnus chlumsky: an iteration

mag
mmmmmm

magnus (as we came arou
nd the cornr(as we
MAG

MAGNUS

as as as as as as as as as as as as
we we we we we we we we we c.
chlrrrrrrrrrrrr NaCl HCl
chlumsky

(

(poem >take dagger >walk door
>open door >check inventory

You are in a small room with no windows. >_

MAGNUS MAGNUS MAGNUS
CH
mmmmag
Hey try stabbing yourself with this here knife
Hey
Hey Magnus

>_ Use bucket
>_ Check inventory

Chlumsky
Take
Take
Take
Take
Tak
Tk
K

Potassium
Chloride
Chlumsky


magnus

WIREFEST

BLATANT ANIMAL
PHONING IN
REPULSIVE CRUD
WEIGHT OF GLOCK
PARENTLY
MISSIVE FROM
YOUR JUTTING MOUTH
BLOW SYRUP
ACHE FOR BRAIN
WHOLLY BARNACLE
BUT MERELY DRAINED
BLATANT MAN
ANIMAL MAN
SAVE THE CLOCKTOWER
FEST OF WIRE
BLEED
REPAIR
INDICT
BARK

Michael Dudikoff

We threw stars
Into their face
We unleashed
Poetic fury
We toppled the empires
Of corrupt wizards
Donning our robust
And wind-sleek garb
We crept stealthily
Through the endless night
We emerge from shadows
Crushing evil flat

Fearsome
Godlike
Mane of wonder
Dudikoff
Your time has come
Dudikoff
Stand and fight
Your arts
Martial
Biceps fully raging
Fully

Dudikoff
We choose you

dead recluse

gathering dust and cash
blanketed in the front room
as spiders idly watch from corner perches
royalty checks accrue
magazine cards dot the landscape
the phone
rings

barry manilow descends to earth
on a solitary golden shaft of lightning
singing songs we knew
to be
awesome

a fever dream
asdfghjkl

self-evident and evidently self
writing an ending
rewiring
writing
face comes off? face goes on:
yanni slams a d minor chord in your living room

recluse spiders out of the corner
playing a very, very small
violin
self-evident
self shaped
face
awesome
dead

Check Out The Employee Photo Directory

Check it out

quaid (quaid)

a mart
a snake waiting for you under a tarp
a carp
a crayon colored like failure
a marlin carved up on the dumbwaiter
a giant crevasse under electronics boutique
a partial freak
a replica of randy quaid
a rubber raid
a flower made of death
a certificate of no breath
a super sweet 86
a castle built from dick
a click away from savings of up to 109%
a raise in rent
a dent
a front of hollow faces
a broken, dennis, cuisinart
a mart

high, a waffle

...high, a waffle
beneath the icy tendrils
of the frozen sun

andre from the real world
rides by on a three-seat
unicycle

overland park USA
olympia USA
montpelier USA

we stand on the tense shoulders
of misled giants
hungry for antagony

waiting out the business
wading out to mid-sea
wallowing in a tank of pure mist

...there, a waffle
sheds its grace silently on the masses
now, walk it out

Becoming Awesome

Falling off a roof of Pizza Haus
In the dead of noon
Shoes of pure sunshine
Laces tight
Rowing a viking ship across Cherry Creek
Collar popped
Dressed for G-d
We climb the lowest hills
Only to dig holes in our shins
Ice cream sneakers blazing
"Who is Larry Busch,"
We cry into the open wounds
And stylishly fret
Among chosen weeds
Staff held in highest regard
Towards the bloody mark
Malted and furious
Lichen spilling out of our lungs
Bruised
Beer-battered
Imperious and primed to thrust
We become awesome

alive presidents

idly by, idly standing by
freely down, freely using down
considerately over, considerately mulling over
broadly there, broadly appearing there
dully through, dully prancing through
quizzically above, quizzically sinking above
wholly around, wholly sleeping around
avidly of, avidly weeping of
joyously into, joyously murdering into
cruelly with, cruelly licking with
lustily at, lustily hovering at
emptily before, emptily kneeling before
freakishly during, freakishly blank during
visually from, visually bleeding from
finally after, finally breaking after

wheat boner

fabulous
wheat boner
avenge me

beard of Christ
beard of wheat

you scrupulous vato
you beast of quinine
you tonic maximizer

elephantine, quarrelsome;
sick brah

fluorescent
wheat boner
have mercy

moist business

flakes of weight
terminal crunch face
stab robot

polemic pandemic
failure maneuvers
scarred polenta falling out of a sky

hey

licking trunk
sufferage camp
giant men beating you about the lungs

yarn business
moist and yawning
fuel for partisan crabs

no

who wants to go stomp the yard

crunk sarcophagi

get down
get out
get it
get up
go out
go down
head up
head out
this wondrance broadcast from the future
the year one nine nine nine
stabbed with half a bicycle
by alice cooper

gone
down
head
out
balking furiously
falsetto core
head sprouts legs
legs sprout arms
arms become penis
penis becomes wind
wind blows in your face
face comes off
offering

beep beep
busy signal
dead signal
dead cells
cellular rupture
rapture
falling out of my sarcophagus
falling down
falling out
failing upward

lil jon was right
its the end of the world
don't look

bad resident

seen among the stilted sticks
clutching furtively a hand grenade
seething blood and twisting
guided by demon in shorts
sunglasses ready for sickness
pacing pacing pacing
smoking smoking smoking
clasping crimson calipers
electricitous
currents buzz and hum through
his entire history on edge
bad resident sneaks another
peeling stucco off his eyelids
breathing paint and dust
he's only here in some ways
gone in others
done in some
not in others
brushing wispy strands aside,
he sucks down heavily
and waits for doom to collect

committed

fully
100%
entirely
unequivocally
irrepressibly
irrevocably
undoubtedly
unquestionably
totally
indefensibly
completely
unfailingly
all-consumingly
greatly
undeniably
immeasurably
incalculably
unbelievably
profoundly
outlandishly
unflaggingly
irreversibly
100%
fully

scrabbling

mince tint
bloat mouse
trash hole river vixen
vexer
great oar
fad gator
hue equals
pig ban dazes
own us
we dined

job face

Internet III and the Temple of Doom

drinking and driving
driving and drinking
what are you thinking
internet

shivving and stabbing
stabbing and shivving
how we're living
internet

busting and rapping
rapping and busting
electrothrusting
internet

licking and slurping
slurping and licking
keys are sticking
internet

slicing and cleaving
cleaving and slicing
nicely inticing
internet

leaping and soaring
soaring and leaping
broadband weeping
internet

sucking and crashing
crashing and sucking
totally fucking
internet

weep key

turn
cry
repeat

is it wall?

are you thing?
can i build?
where is go?
was it going?
did they find?
of its mouth?
when were you?
to a place?
will there be?
would it use?
could we start?
in two times?
around its side?
with our teeth?
why i built?
how you will?
and finally,
is it wall?

that's what i was thinking
totally

TORD

TORD
TORD CAR
CAR FACE
FACE BROTH
BROTH CHAMP
CHAMP LOVE
LOVE TUFT
TUFT BREEZE
BREEZE CORE
CORE FUNK
FUNK TASTE
TASTE BREATH
BREATH DICK
DICK STYLE
STYLE RUNT
RUNT PANTS
PANTS BLAST
BLAST CHEESE
CHEESE ROCK
ROCK TIME
TIME CORD
CORD TORD
TORD

Coffee That Is Made Out Of Your Face

Drinking!
O hark
Sipping wondrous elixir of wires
Blood runs awesome
Drink of this whatnot
Getting waked up to
Various shits occurring!
We can just consume things
We can just consume things
Maybe we'll cut off your
Face
And brew that
And then we can all drink
Coffee that is made out of your face!
Hey this coffee tastes like face.
Face.
We can consume things
Things and face
Get up
Work
Die
Face

Furtive Dongs II: Jason Takes Manhattan

I.

Hanging out for science
Carotid stuffed
Vulva in the breeze

II.

Queueing hard
Waking to hysterics
Gently puckered asshole

III.

Furtive and questionable
Grasping at dongs
Take stock of tuna supply

IV.

Drago calling
Punch you in the sternum
Invalid mask

V.

Stop reopening
Camp Crystal Lake
Shit always happens

Simon Tuka-Waku

ischemic and porous
built on forests of microtechnology
get freaky at the 1984 lake placid olympics
eschewing metal for complex polymers
blame-free
massive celestial pulchritude
pressing his ass up against the clerestory windows
responsible for keeping shit on time
sufficiently wack
hung like a caribbean demigod
branchless and sublime
subtly gigantic
collapsible for easy storage
making molehills out of mountainous regions
dead lifting stars
science tighter than a big pile of tightness
nattily dressed and ready to rock hard for Jesus
Simon lead us to insolvency
You beauteous dude

New Post III: Post Harder

Post for G-d
New post

Post of churlish wonder
New post

Post of flying meat
New post

Post with added Einsteinium
New post

Post for inappropriate touching
New post

Post of dongs in flight
New post

Post to raise money for dead kids
New post

Post in re: getting it up Tues.
New post

Post for primate psychiatry
New post

Fucking new post
Fight me in small claims court

furtive dongs

a tale of woe
sequestered in a TGIF bathroom
naked and quixotic
drinkin on MALK
quarantined and sexual
racing down paths
of autism
only to grasp at
furtive dongs
taking the less scenic route
to hell

Salty Emissary

From high

Sing to us the song of trust
Sing to us the song of dead weight
Sing to us the song of vaginal reconstructive surgery
Sing to us
Songs

And high

Salty emissary descend to Earth
Panzramic and gutted
Make a freight train take a god damn dirt road
If you know what I mean
Probably

On high

Chewin on facts of life
Crawlin up on them shores of Loch Lomond
Getting elbowed hard in the balls
First breath after ebola
Brutal

And high

We stride through pubic wonder
We mount our disgusting steeds
We carve a swath of sexual disappointment
We bleed because we have to
Dig

Triskadekaphosphoralysis: Judgment Day

It happened

Triskadekaphosphoralysis

Brace selves
It is coming

Ocular Vent: A Bumblination in Four Pods

1.

Closely
Calm collaboration
Convivial, clueless crime
Climaxing continuously
Clearly Canadian

2.

Entropy
Erstwhile economist
Elegant, endless eulogies
Elegiac expectations
Entropic effervescence

3.

Ribbed
Running roar
Ripped, rambling rumination
Rubicon racer
Rhinoplasty rule

4.

Oogenesis
Oily, oblong
Once opened, oracular
Orangutan operations
Ocular omen

Jeff Goldblum

Jeff fucking Goldblum

bacon christ II: dead reckoning

from the sky
balls of ice
absolutely
bacon christ

Gun Me

Baby bird
You don't wanna
Gun me
You don't wanna
Bleed me
You don't even
know me

Baby bird
You don't wanna
Gun me
You don't wanna
Take me out
You don't even
Subscribe

Baby bird
Gun me down
For warm, soft cash
For all the right reasons
My number's up
Your lips are dead
Out back
It's time
To go

bacon christ

Thrills
Formless applause
Breasts
Killarney stumble down cobblestone avenue
Pukin clovers

Taking time to mess up life
Taking life to mess up time
Making room for the time
We made room for time

Waifs
Timeless spurts
Man hands
Bacon christ come get me off this hillside
Time to ride

Steven Seagal

Steven Seagal
You are fat
Your martial art
By the gods
Your energy drink
A wonder treat
Hard to kill
and out for justice
Choppin shit
Wicked fat
Ponytail
Majestic and free
Steven Seagal
Your time has come

Canada Songs

Hell songs

Internet II

Finding and lashing
Lashing and finding
Imperial binding
User stance

Heaving and whistling
Whistling and heaving
Cheney's leaving
Fingerplants

Staying and blowing
Blowing and staying
Partial relaying
Spinnerets

Hucking and going
Going and hucking
It's the fucking
Internets

Tookerado

Tookerado
Wild in the night
Wild and free

Tookerado
Beauteous stallion
Immaculate

Tookerado
You see the shit
You step aside

Tookerado
Woolly figments
Tuna style

Tookerado
Beast of ponderance
Take us with you

God forbid
Tookerado

wagon-faced

and brutal
starving angrily through a valley of flesh
shaken fists
plucked and anemic
writing checks off a wagon
your throat can't cash
in the throes of communication
staged for commerce
quit trying to stab me in the face
a serious shit
time served for cafeteria violence
born of blood and oatmeal
wagon-faced and full
direct to video
time is come
amen

La Tristesse

Mais non
Ce n'est pas magnifique
C'est tres trop
Manger la canard
Trouver la tristesse
Mais non
Mais oui
Qu'est-ce que c'est
Je rie
Nous sommes OK
Fin

AGRICORE

FLOORPUNCH
CHANGEPICK
SPINKICK
FACEPLANT
BRODOWN
BROCORE
MOSHPICK
BROMOSH
CHANGEPUNCH
FACECORE
BROKICK
AGRICORE


LETS MOVE THIS SHIT
MAXIMUM OUTPUT

Internet

cruising down the freeway
in the batmobile
wind in the hair

magic america
little lines of information
sex in the doorway
during earthquiakes

dust for all
internet
rain on me

let me check my inbox

giant squirrel

Giant squirrel
Giant squirrel
Where you run to
Giant squirrel

Giant squirrel
Giant squirrel
Where you run to
Giant squirrel

Giant squirrel
Giant squirrel
Beast of wonder
Beast of fury

Where you run to
Giant squirrel

mr. wizard died today

he could make shit happen
he could turn thing into other thing
he could shoot lightning bolts out of his dick
he could move things with his mind
he could harness the power of demons
he could use science to do freaky shit
he was on nickelodeon
and now he performs experiments
in the sky

RIP mr wizard
you magnificent scientificent bastard
your time has come

For Gibbons

Barreling
For gibbons
Chunk forestry
On a bed of psychiatry
For anemone
Trade parrotry
For gibbons
I'd slake the heavens
Master funk
And inhibit
Gibbonometry

Take me to the pacific bro down

Dinosaur

Fight me dinosaur
Your time has come

Fight me dinosaur
Your time has come

Fight me dinosaur
You're the best around

Fight me dinosaur
Your time has come

Bring Me the Meat Disk

Bring me the meat disk

Flavored Radar

Vague relations
Impossible task
Ambulance mask
Famous Clark ridin the rails
Oh malignant wonder
Stagnant and wondrous
Pondrous and ambulous
Obulostinatrous
Taste your way out
Of a brick spittoon
Flavored radar
Canceled breath

Carbonic and free
Radar teleteletry

boy howdy

It's been a day!
Riding total robots
Into fields of darkness.
Plan to be
Among the animous
Reminder
Remain calm
Hell awaits
Taste the stress
Of bowing steel
Ambulatory and bleak
Staved and comparous
We meld

lookin for doug

In all the wrong places
Tastin rainbows out the
Side of yr face
Like tongues for tentacles
Like problem style
Like thought bubbles
Coming out the ass of God
That's great, Doug
That's just great

Two and a month high

O!
Two and a month high
Raisin penis
Floating by
I do declare
Outboats
Shores of rat
The soft caress
of Billy Blanks
Prison shanks
And the kold grym
Realtor
Of paling passers-by
Live it
Two and a month high

Russian Ninja

Trained for stealth
Spreading fear
Across the farmlands
Escape by bicycle
Russian Ninja

You Can Use the Machine (Reprise)

Machine for Christ
Machine for Christ
Use the machine
Dave for Christ
Use the machine
Dave is the system

You can use the machine (repeat)

Chorus

DerMarr

1.

Cold step outside this shit
Taser to the face
Taser to the face
DerMarr

2.

Hoop hoop
Dunk dunk
Ball ball
Zap

3.

Drinks in hand
Cash in hand
Taser to the face
DerMarr

4.

Greenwood Village
Step to this
Greenwood Village
Step to this
Step to this shit
DerMarr

5.

Emerald Thomas
Nephatearia Jenkins
DerMarr

6.

Taser to the face
Nephatearia
Cold step to this shit
Purple drank
Emerald promise
Emerald THomas
DerMarr

7.

Calm down
Taser to the face
Taste the face
See the face
Of DerMarr

8.

9.

Jenkins/Thomas
Forward arrest
Palimpsest
Basket wrath
Taser awaits
Grace
Zap

X.

DerMarr

New post

New post
Tuna brand

Fair skin
Mic check

Gem style
Kill parts

Leap stone
Tuna brand

Bran fight
Clean war

Clean war
Face champ

Gem champ
New post

the time we all got shot in the face

the time we all got shot in the face

I.

she's like the wind
through my tree

II.

northern song
northern
song of north
up thar
it cold
you feel your face and it's
gone
sing a song
a song of no face
north
no face
north

III.

a fine time was had
hand in hand with destiny
driving a pinto
into a river of dick

IV.

there was a time when
the second set of footprints
disappeared and
i asked him, "why did you
abandon me?"
but nobody answered
it was during the 2003 MTV movie awards

V.

then we all got shot in the face
splash

You Can Use the Machine

You can use the machine
Dave is the system
You can use the machine
Try it and see
You can use the machine
Buttons for pressing
Dave is the system
You can use the machine
Maintenance front
You can use the machine
Buttons for pressing
Please restock tray
Please restock tray
Try it and see
You can use the machine
Dave is the system
Maintenance front

You can use the machine

Hangblow

Hark
O!
O hark
Oark
Tithing beast
Immobile feast
Rlion
Rgiraffe
Roark
O!
Handjob wreath
Death beneath
Dsexual
Dlibido
Doark
O!
Durable mouth
Headed south
Hheaven
Hhell
Hoark
O!
Deliver us the hangblow
Maketh water
Posteth nae bills
Hark

staying tuned

staying tuned
getting pumped
being excited
tuning in
checking it out
being modern
staying current
keeping up
being psyched
becoming aware
getting stoked
being pumped
getting tuned
tuning up
checking excited
tuning checked
staying stoked
stoking pump
psyching it out
pumping away
getting up
staying it out
becoming tuned
exciting stay
being up
being stay
stay
stoke
pump
tune
pump

Fear II

A.

Fear
I take you to Hardees
I take you to Hardees
Fear

B.

Talkin bout plastic apartment
Talkin bout Barley Fresh
Talkin bout a labia whale
Talkin bout tuna plant
Talkin bout FEAR

C.

Bottom a'stairway
Ther'n a space
Get the fear

D.

Climb up on this shit
You get out of your lincoln continental
You step to remedial English
You find the fear
You take the bait
You get fucked on a freeway made of flesh
Xeno style
Xeno wraps
Climb up on a wagon fucker
You see what happens

E.

Get out
Fear

WELCOME FRIENDS

Herever foremore shall be the resting place of my wondrous musings of life, love and spiritual bankruptcy

Welcome friends and loved ones, and please accept my invitation to TASTE THE STRESS

Please check back frequently for further textual enlightenment

LAS