crunk sarcophagi

get down
get out
get it
get up
go out
go down
head up
head out
this wondrance broadcast from the future
the year one nine nine nine
stabbed with half a bicycle
by alice cooper

gone
down
head
out
balking furiously
falsetto core
head sprouts legs
legs sprout arms
arms become penis
penis becomes wind
wind blows in your face
face comes off
offering

beep beep
busy signal
dead signal
dead cells
cellular rupture
rapture
falling out of my sarcophagus
falling down
falling out
failing upward

lil jon was right
its the end of the world
don't look

bad resident

seen among the stilted sticks
clutching furtively a hand grenade
seething blood and twisting
guided by demon in shorts
sunglasses ready for sickness
pacing pacing pacing
smoking smoking smoking
clasping crimson calipers
electricitous
currents buzz and hum through
his entire history on edge
bad resident sneaks another
peeling stucco off his eyelids
breathing paint and dust
he's only here in some ways
gone in others
done in some
not in others
brushing wispy strands aside,
he sucks down heavily
and waits for doom to collect

committed

fully
100%
entirely
unequivocally
irrepressibly
irrevocably
undoubtedly
unquestionably
totally
indefensibly
completely
unfailingly
all-consumingly
greatly
undeniably
immeasurably
incalculably
unbelievably
profoundly
outlandishly
unflaggingly
irreversibly
100%
fully

scrabbling

mince tint
bloat mouse
trash hole river vixen
vexer
great oar
fad gator
hue equals
pig ban dazes
own us
we dined

job face

Internet III and the Temple of Doom

drinking and driving
driving and drinking
what are you thinking
internet

shivving and stabbing
stabbing and shivving
how we're living
internet

busting and rapping
rapping and busting
electrothrusting
internet

licking and slurping
slurping and licking
keys are sticking
internet

slicing and cleaving
cleaving and slicing
nicely inticing
internet

leaping and soaring
soaring and leaping
broadband weeping
internet

sucking and crashing
crashing and sucking
totally fucking
internet

weep key

turn
cry
repeat

is it wall?

are you thing?
can i build?
where is go?
was it going?
did they find?
of its mouth?
when were you?
to a place?
will there be?
would it use?
could we start?
in two times?
around its side?
with our teeth?
why i built?
how you will?
and finally,
is it wall?

that's what i was thinking
totally

TORD

TORD
TORD CAR
CAR FACE
FACE BROTH
BROTH CHAMP
CHAMP LOVE
LOVE TUFT
TUFT BREEZE
BREEZE CORE
CORE FUNK
FUNK TASTE
TASTE BREATH
BREATH DICK
DICK STYLE
STYLE RUNT
RUNT PANTS
PANTS BLAST
BLAST CHEESE
CHEESE ROCK
ROCK TIME
TIME CORD
CORD TORD
TORD

Coffee That Is Made Out Of Your Face

Drinking!
O hark
Sipping wondrous elixir of wires
Blood runs awesome
Drink of this whatnot
Getting waked up to
Various shits occurring!
We can just consume things
We can just consume things
Maybe we'll cut off your
Face
And brew that
And then we can all drink
Coffee that is made out of your face!
Hey this coffee tastes like face.
Face.
We can consume things
Things and face
Get up
Work
Die
Face

Furtive Dongs II: Jason Takes Manhattan

I.

Hanging out for science
Carotid stuffed
Vulva in the breeze

II.

Queueing hard
Waking to hysterics
Gently puckered asshole

III.

Furtive and questionable
Grasping at dongs
Take stock of tuna supply

IV.

Drago calling
Punch you in the sternum
Invalid mask

V.

Stop reopening
Camp Crystal Lake
Shit always happens

Simon Tuka-Waku

ischemic and porous
built on forests of microtechnology
get freaky at the 1984 lake placid olympics
eschewing metal for complex polymers
blame-free
massive celestial pulchritude
pressing his ass up against the clerestory windows
responsible for keeping shit on time
sufficiently wack
hung like a caribbean demigod
branchless and sublime
subtly gigantic
collapsible for easy storage
making molehills out of mountainous regions
dead lifting stars
science tighter than a big pile of tightness
nattily dressed and ready to rock hard for Jesus
Simon lead us to insolvency
You beauteous dude

New Post III: Post Harder

Post for G-d
New post

Post of churlish wonder
New post

Post of flying meat
New post

Post with added Einsteinium
New post

Post for inappropriate touching
New post

Post of dongs in flight
New post

Post to raise money for dead kids
New post

Post in re: getting it up Tues.
New post

Post for primate psychiatry
New post

Fucking new post
Fight me in small claims court

furtive dongs

a tale of woe
sequestered in a TGIF bathroom
naked and quixotic
drinkin on MALK
quarantined and sexual
racing down paths
of autism
only to grasp at
furtive dongs
taking the less scenic route
to hell

Salty Emissary

From high

Sing to us the song of trust
Sing to us the song of dead weight
Sing to us the song of vaginal reconstructive surgery
Sing to us
Songs

And high

Salty emissary descend to Earth
Panzramic and gutted
Make a freight train take a god damn dirt road
If you know what I mean
Probably

On high

Chewin on facts of life
Crawlin up on them shores of Loch Lomond
Getting elbowed hard in the balls
First breath after ebola
Brutal

And high

We stride through pubic wonder
We mount our disgusting steeds
We carve a swath of sexual disappointment
We bleed because we have to
Dig

Triskadekaphosphoralysis: Judgment Day

It happened

Triskadekaphosphoralysis

Brace selves
It is coming

Ocular Vent: A Bumblination in Four Pods

1.

Closely
Calm collaboration
Convivial, clueless crime
Climaxing continuously
Clearly Canadian

2.

Entropy
Erstwhile economist
Elegant, endless eulogies
Elegiac expectations
Entropic effervescence

3.

Ribbed
Running roar
Ripped, rambling rumination
Rubicon racer
Rhinoplasty rule

4.

Oogenesis
Oily, oblong
Once opened, oracular
Orangutan operations
Ocular omen

Jeff Goldblum

Jeff fucking Goldblum

bacon christ II: dead reckoning

from the sky
balls of ice
absolutely
bacon christ

Gun Me

Baby bird
You don't wanna
Gun me
You don't wanna
Bleed me
You don't even
know me

Baby bird
You don't wanna
Gun me
You don't wanna
Take me out
You don't even
Subscribe

Baby bird
Gun me down
For warm, soft cash
For all the right reasons
My number's up
Your lips are dead
Out back
It's time
To go

bacon christ

Thrills
Formless applause
Breasts
Killarney stumble down cobblestone avenue
Pukin clovers

Taking time to mess up life
Taking life to mess up time
Making room for the time
We made room for time

Waifs
Timeless spurts
Man hands
Bacon christ come get me off this hillside
Time to ride

Steven Seagal

Steven Seagal
You are fat
Your martial art
By the gods
Your energy drink
A wonder treat
Hard to kill
and out for justice
Choppin shit
Wicked fat
Ponytail
Majestic and free
Steven Seagal
Your time has come

Canada Songs

Hell songs

Internet II

Finding and lashing
Lashing and finding
Imperial binding
User stance

Heaving and whistling
Whistling and heaving
Cheney's leaving
Fingerplants

Staying and blowing
Blowing and staying
Partial relaying
Spinnerets

Hucking and going
Going and hucking
It's the fucking
Internets

Tookerado

Tookerado
Wild in the night
Wild and free

Tookerado
Beauteous stallion
Immaculate

Tookerado
You see the shit
You step aside

Tookerado
Woolly figments
Tuna style

Tookerado
Beast of ponderance
Take us with you

God forbid
Tookerado

wagon-faced

and brutal
starving angrily through a valley of flesh
shaken fists
plucked and anemic
writing checks off a wagon
your throat can't cash
in the throes of communication
staged for commerce
quit trying to stab me in the face
a serious shit
time served for cafeteria violence
born of blood and oatmeal
wagon-faced and full
direct to video
time is come
amen

La Tristesse

Mais non
Ce n'est pas magnifique
C'est tres trop
Manger la canard
Trouver la tristesse
Mais non
Mais oui
Qu'est-ce que c'est
Je rie
Nous sommes OK
Fin

AGRICORE

FLOORPUNCH
CHANGEPICK
SPINKICK
FACEPLANT
BRODOWN
BROCORE
MOSHPICK
BROMOSH
CHANGEPUNCH
FACECORE
BROKICK
AGRICORE


LETS MOVE THIS SHIT
MAXIMUM OUTPUT

Internet

cruising down the freeway
in the batmobile
wind in the hair

magic america
little lines of information
sex in the doorway
during earthquiakes

dust for all
internet
rain on me

let me check my inbox

giant squirrel

Giant squirrel
Giant squirrel
Where you run to
Giant squirrel

Giant squirrel
Giant squirrel
Where you run to
Giant squirrel

Giant squirrel
Giant squirrel
Beast of wonder
Beast of fury

Where you run to
Giant squirrel

mr. wizard died today

he could make shit happen
he could turn thing into other thing
he could shoot lightning bolts out of his dick
he could move things with his mind
he could harness the power of demons
he could use science to do freaky shit
he was on nickelodeon
and now he performs experiments
in the sky

RIP mr wizard
you magnificent scientificent bastard
your time has come

For Gibbons

Barreling
For gibbons
Chunk forestry
On a bed of psychiatry
For anemone
Trade parrotry
For gibbons
I'd slake the heavens
Master funk
And inhibit
Gibbonometry

Take me to the pacific bro down

Dinosaur

Fight me dinosaur
Your time has come

Fight me dinosaur
Your time has come

Fight me dinosaur
You're the best around

Fight me dinosaur
Your time has come

Bring Me the Meat Disk

Bring me the meat disk

Flavored Radar

Vague relations
Impossible task
Ambulance mask
Famous Clark ridin the rails
Oh malignant wonder
Stagnant and wondrous
Pondrous and ambulous
Obulostinatrous
Taste your way out
Of a brick spittoon
Flavored radar
Canceled breath

Carbonic and free
Radar teleteletry

boy howdy

It's been a day!
Riding total robots
Into fields of darkness.
Plan to be
Among the animous
Reminder
Remain calm
Hell awaits
Taste the stress
Of bowing steel
Ambulatory and bleak
Staved and comparous
We meld

lookin for doug

In all the wrong places
Tastin rainbows out the
Side of yr face
Like tongues for tentacles
Like problem style
Like thought bubbles
Coming out the ass of God
That's great, Doug
That's just great

Two and a month high

O!
Two and a month high
Raisin penis
Floating by
I do declare
Outboats
Shores of rat
The soft caress
of Billy Blanks
Prison shanks
And the kold grym
Realtor
Of paling passers-by
Live it
Two and a month high

Russian Ninja

Trained for stealth
Spreading fear
Across the farmlands
Escape by bicycle
Russian Ninja

You Can Use the Machine (Reprise)

Machine for Christ
Machine for Christ
Use the machine
Dave for Christ
Use the machine
Dave is the system

You can use the machine (repeat)

Chorus

DerMarr

1.

Cold step outside this shit
Taser to the face
Taser to the face
DerMarr

2.

Hoop hoop
Dunk dunk
Ball ball
Zap

3.

Drinks in hand
Cash in hand
Taser to the face
DerMarr

4.

Greenwood Village
Step to this
Greenwood Village
Step to this
Step to this shit
DerMarr

5.

Emerald Thomas
Nephatearia Jenkins
DerMarr

6.

Taser to the face
Nephatearia
Cold step to this shit
Purple drank
Emerald promise
Emerald THomas
DerMarr

7.

Calm down
Taser to the face
Taste the face
See the face
Of DerMarr

8.

9.

Jenkins/Thomas
Forward arrest
Palimpsest
Basket wrath
Taser awaits
Grace
Zap

X.

DerMarr

New post

New post
Tuna brand

Fair skin
Mic check

Gem style
Kill parts

Leap stone
Tuna brand

Bran fight
Clean war

Clean war
Face champ

Gem champ
New post

the time we all got shot in the face

the time we all got shot in the face

I.

she's like the wind
through my tree

II.

northern song
northern
song of north
up thar
it cold
you feel your face and it's
gone
sing a song
a song of no face
north
no face
north

III.

a fine time was had
hand in hand with destiny
driving a pinto
into a river of dick

IV.

there was a time when
the second set of footprints
disappeared and
i asked him, "why did you
abandon me?"
but nobody answered
it was during the 2003 MTV movie awards

V.

then we all got shot in the face
splash

You Can Use the Machine

You can use the machine
Dave is the system
You can use the machine
Try it and see
You can use the machine
Buttons for pressing
Dave is the system
You can use the machine
Maintenance front
You can use the machine
Buttons for pressing
Please restock tray
Please restock tray
Try it and see
You can use the machine
Dave is the system
Maintenance front

You can use the machine

Hangblow

Hark
O!
O hark
Oark
Tithing beast
Immobile feast
Rlion
Rgiraffe
Roark
O!
Handjob wreath
Death beneath
Dsexual
Dlibido
Doark
O!
Durable mouth
Headed south
Hheaven
Hhell
Hoark
O!
Deliver us the hangblow
Maketh water
Posteth nae bills
Hark

staying tuned

staying tuned
getting pumped
being excited
tuning in
checking it out
being modern
staying current
keeping up
being psyched
becoming aware
getting stoked
being pumped
getting tuned
tuning up
checking excited
tuning checked
staying stoked
stoking pump
psyching it out
pumping away
getting up
staying it out
becoming tuned
exciting stay
being up
being stay
stay
stoke
pump
tune
pump

Fear II

A.

Fear
I take you to Hardees
I take you to Hardees
Fear

B.

Talkin bout plastic apartment
Talkin bout Barley Fresh
Talkin bout a labia whale
Talkin bout tuna plant
Talkin bout FEAR

C.

Bottom a'stairway
Ther'n a space
Get the fear

D.

Climb up on this shit
You get out of your lincoln continental
You step to remedial English
You find the fear
You take the bait
You get fucked on a freeway made of flesh
Xeno style
Xeno wraps
Climb up on a wagon fucker
You see what happens

E.

Get out
Fear

WELCOME FRIENDS

Herever foremore shall be the resting place of my wondrous musings of life, love and spiritual bankruptcy

Welcome friends and loved ones, and please accept my invitation to TASTE THE STRESS

Please check back frequently for further textual enlightenment

LAS