cryptosporidium club

Hey beautiful
It's been a while
Our limbs are longer now
Our minds, sharper
Faces, adjusted
Accounts all frozen
Things haven't been the same
Since Maj. Buntling passed
Since we all got snowman tattoos
Since Adam got the boot
I've been doing well
Just got signed to Interscope
Just made partner at the wheat farm
Just finished up this mustache
New clothes, new skin
New muscle atrophy
I just signed up for this
Cryptosporidium club
Bakesales and protistans
You know how it goes
Well, you take care now
Say hello to your wife
Your children and wild animals
Your dying kingdom
Your crumbling nascent empire
It's been fun asshole
Real fun

Terrific Song Lengths

2:03
2:29
2:56
3:39
3:51
4:34
4:55
5:27
5:58
6:16
7:24
8:59
11:17
12:43
17:38

about that horse program

So
About that horse program
About those comely numbers
About the chalky text
About where we left it
About what it all adds up with
About screwy compasses and headstrong lasses with golden tresses
About strands of DNA blowin in the wind
About youth misspent in backs of cramped autos
About italicized dialogue shouted from rooftops of our dead heroes
About bullets and blankets of dead weight
About horses roamin free as all get out
About man on horse Equus type shit
About the time we all forgot our clothes and wept in the tacky streets
About who it really was at the door
About why we never talk anymore
About taking that horse and just riding into the proverbial sunset
About that horse program

What did you think, anyways

Wrully

G'bah!
Let's hoist anchor, friends
Set sail
For the Isles of Sherm
Armed with salted flesh
And Vitamin C
We're sure to succeed
Cap'n Wrully
Give us enough rope
To choke on
Enough pieces of eight
To have nine or ten
G'bah!
Wrully
You happening wreck
Leave your cares behind
Leaves behind your care
Into the strait we go
Death and glory
Money and ink
Yoopers, all
You god damn
Wrully
G'bah!
Let's hoist sails, fucker
Let's see what happens

(1881)

aerosmith guy (opening salvo)

hey aerosmith fan
i've got your number

hey aerosmith fan
i've got your name

it's fight or flight
it's do or die
it's scarf-doffing time
it's ageless mystic apoplexy
it's throwing of the proverbial gauntlets
it's awesome time

hey aerosmith fan
let's do this

(exeunt)

frozen hotel bathroom

this way
says the indian on the wall
to regret

frozen on the floor
supplies in hand
let me reach
let me reach for my

icy air
indian laughs
lights flicker and dim
eyes wide open but

let me reach for my

theres some kind of
chemical on the carpets
theres some kind of
presence in the mirror
in the room

its black and i
let me reach for my
let me

frozen on the floor
arms shredded
eyes wide open but
icy air fills the room
and the halls

its grey
let me
let me reach

frozen
let me reach for my

worst boner ever

I

Eight is enough
Just the ten of us
Eight is enough
Nine and a half weeks

II

The cold
Cpl Damon Buntling
Reaches for his gun
It's empty
It's there
The cold
Damon

III

Justified
And ancient
Top 40
Sing it honey
Breaking glow sticks
On the dance floor
Anciently
Presciently
Totally

IV

China is here
Mr Burton

V

Dam burst
Veins swell
Coprophagia
Nightmare living hell
Sign my cast
Touch my face
Worst touch ever
Please

Albion (God Bless Your Cursed Face)

I don my wife beater
In the snow
Albion

Golden shafts of love
Pierce my brain
Pierce my soul
Hot damn
Albion

I curse the day
You took my shit
In the snow
Albion

Taste the pain
Smell your options
It's looking up for the
Six-month bond
Chief operating douche
Albion

I don my bandanna
I ban Madonna
I man a band on ya
Hot broccoli
Albion

It's got to be
Wicked free
In the snow
Time has come
Albion

You Can No Longer Use The Machine

Fuck all
What is your matter
What is your person
Timer is the system
Dave is the machine
Fuck all
In the night
Your number is 12,000
Your face is a windmill
Your matters are machine
Cold hands
Warm face
The camps are the system
Dave is the machine
Cold is the matter
Timer is fuck
You can no longer use the machine
You can no longer use the machine

You can no longer use the
Machine

(Fade)

penis becomes arm

the vampires
they are here
the vampires

a double dribble
a slam dunk
a forest of small nails
a carpeted love,
a dream
a dream of vampires

in the toasty night
penis becomes arm
face becomes dream
vampires become guidos
zombie turns into a ash
sproik

a carpeted dream
of furrowed love
and a toasty penis

arms wide
god smiles
penis vampires
why not

a swiftly barking horse

A barking horse
A plain horse
Plainly, barking
Calling out to
Us
Calling
Barking
Pawing the red dirt
Baleen glistening
Fins bare
Swiftly
Bark to us
Let us know
Is it OK
Is it fine now
No one in the well
No one in the sea
No one there
Listen pal
It is OK
It's time to ride
It's OK to ride
Swiftly
Barking
Get with the program
Get with horse

Bro On Down

Bro on down
Bro

Bro
Brah
Some beers
Maybe a little
DMB
You know
Brah

Bro on down

Collar up
Hair up
Face up
It is time
To bro

Bro on down
Bro
Brah

Bro

hidden accumulation of sea vegetables: II

A

Polysaccharides
Too clever by half
Triglycerides
Havin a laugh
Lainaria japonica
In the wet breeze
Below the seas
Is the fear
Keep chortling
Demise

B

Trace element
Oil rig
See some light below

C

Knew this was one way ticket
But you know I had to come
Cracked breaths
The pressure
Keep talking

D

Juilliard called
Your future is on line two
Please accept this kelp
As a gift
Transcontinental rift
Abyssal plains
Fish without faces
The fear
The black
Jerry

E

Raise your hand
If you think
That was
A Russian water tentacle

Chicken Right

Pull up a board
And get your chicken right

Eat yo chicken
Get yo chicken
Eat yo chicken
Get yo
Eat yo

Pull up a board
And get your chicken right

furtive dongs 3: friday after next

where dongs fear to tread
we'll be there
listen up sally
listen real tough
when dongs are outlawed
then you know what
take your feathered bangs
and get the fuck


this is how we do it
it's friday night

Fall Off A Cliff In The Hot Sun

Crumbling Dan
He been down
He been down that road
Crumbler

Marriage sword
Gleams above the doorway
Crumbling Dan
Gleams above the doorway

Fall off a cliff
In the hot, hot sun
Baking down
Baking down

Crumbling Dan
Married and impoverished
Knees scraped to God
A dried out chicken finger
Rubbed with dust

Dusty crumbles
Sword of God
Hot, hot cocks
You know the drill

Bananas Face Map

Bananas face map
There it goes

Bananas face map
A sterling silver dream of wet memories

Bananas face map
Taking the time to improve accountability

Bananas face map
We have seen the future

Blessed and meek
Washed of improbable sins
Ready for weaponry
Bananas face map

solemn breakbeats

solemn breakbeats
on the eve of your father's
untimely demise
clapping hard
arms outstretched for jesus
i always thought it was
i just can't get it up
but we were wrong
we were so wrong
solemn hand jives
in the corner
with small movements so as
not to make any noise
solemn b-boy epithets
hurled from tinted windows
of entourage hearses
endless posturing and
steaks of synthesized meat
bottles of cristal
littering future tombs
on the day your father
bit the metaphorical dust
solemn steaks
served on platters of failure
god bless your rhymes
god save our beats
ugh

hey martial arts fan

we go way back
how about we go out for
some organic carrots
remember the time
everything went wrong
and you fell off a cliff
into a dojo of wonder
martial arts fan
i wish you well
i wish you dead

a assload of feelings

girl
shit just got real

shawty i never meant to
hurt you

for real dawg
for real

this time

dip command

Ruler of the seas
Leviathan
Command us

Breakfast at Chico's
Chorizo with hot sauce
Command us

Commander Keen
Staying out real late
Ruler

Chico for Treasurer
Lifetime king of impotence
Lord mercy

When I dip
You dip
We dip

bride of crunch face

I

Oh ho!

II

Oh no
uh-oh

III

She will be loved (4x)

IV

Nuh-uh

son of crunch face

saunter outta wal-mart
like a dirty robot
comin out the post office
with an axe to bear
and a cross to grind
strollin outta tesco
with a nine in my face
doin business with robots
in the dark sun
taking axes to the post office
with robots on crosses
cut your losses
it's egression time
mosey out a day spa
with two days severance
jumpin out a elevator
at just past noon
the time is now
the end is soon
dirty robots in flight
after death delight

GRBAP

GRENDEL SAYS, HEY YOU TRY THEM POTATO CHIPS YET
GRBAP
GRBAP
GRUNTS AND SQUEALS OF FEATHERED MERCY
GRBAP
GRENDEL PACKS UP AND MOVE ALL HIS SHIT OUT
OUT THE DOOR
OUT OF THE UNDERWATER RUINS INTO A LUXURY STUDIO
OUT INTO THE URBAN WILD
WHERE THE CAKES ARE TASTY
AND THE BEATS ARE FLY
GRBAP
GRUNTS AND SQUEALS FROM A VICTROLA
ON THE EDGE OF THE FREEWAY
STILL PICKING UP SIGNALS
FROM 1983
GRENDEL SIDLES UP TO A FASTBURGER
AND TAKES BITES OUT OF THE SCENERY
GRENDEL WAS SET UP FROM THE WORD GO
GRENDEL MADE IT ALL STANDING UP
GRUNTS AND SQUEALS OF CHILDISH HORROR
AND JAWS DRIPPING WITH LIFE
IT'S GO TIME MOTHERFUCKER
BEG FOR MERCY
GRBAP

a brief apology

our apologies

the poem that previously occupied this space
was taken down for maintenance
then we thought better of it
and set it on fire
and pushed it out to sea
in a proper viking burial

thanks
TTS management

a snarling boat

a snarling boat
a snarling, ugly, brutal boat
a boat of no kindness
a boat of influenza and viral loads
a boat with jagged teeth and unforgiving lips
a jugular-severing boat
an unfeeling boat
a boat without morals
a boat without conscience
a boat perpetually on the edge of total chaos
a boat of entropy
a sick, stained and evil boat
a boat of deep and soulless black
a boat with a disturbed mind
a boat where light cannot escape
a boat apart
a boat alone
a snarling boat

DMX and the infinite sadness

the bottle of resolve
for pet stains
on the darkened desk
crusted white
source magazine torn to shreds
glistens in the night

a tear stained hallway
lit by failure
carpeted with hair loss
and furnished with bankruptcy

spirits in the chimney
chimney sweep in the phone book
not having been retained
for chimney sweeping services
cause that shit is haunted

i finger my gold chains
brow heavy with sweat and
teeth clenched with sweat and
pants grey with sweat

stacks of ones
litter the pale landscape
a chair toppled, a weight
a weight there
a melted platinum stench

where did it all go
and where did it all not
things i mutter under my breath
as i walk to the carriage house
both of us in disrepair

lost everything, and found
an endless column of ghosts and lies
crack another steel reserve
and the soul just dies
the dogs need to go outside
the dogs need to go outside

ascetic velcro

a diminished, sustained, major seventh trailed by the dismembered ghost of a rat

the process of seeing all things, followed by the process of getting thrown out of a bar

a clean break with the tactile world and a clean fracture of your scaphoid

a monk jumping off an embankment into a sea of graphite

the late ones, the early kings, the new bullets, the ancient arrows

being swallowed by a magnificent cephalopod at 40 fathoms

the action taken by a throng of angry widows holding burning guns

frozen children, thawed organelles

stacks of flattened, fluid-filled tubules

meat, anger, memory loss

images of tasty knifes

toxoplasmosis

new eons

velcro

bacon christ: at world's end

a blinding flash of light
on the grill horizon

sky an imperious burning pink
sky all greased with sunspots
sky dripping down

staving off the hunted millions
the hunting thousands
the hundreds of calories
tens of blotting paper
and stacks of ones

a blinding flash of light
through the pockmarked stratosphere

bacon christ
fear the end

flying piano

a flying piano
can you do it
a flying piano
can you take the chance

a whale time
a whale piece
a piece of a horse
a horse timer

a flying piano
i'll take you there
a flying piano
i'll jump on that grenade

a time for wraiths
a time for yeast
frothy frothy frothy
and how

flying piano
you decide

Chlumsky: a lightly salted offering of words

strawberry love on an arugula cloud
cheers, mate
chlumsky
you fucking brute
here's that drink you wanted
here's that fish you salted
here's that memory you repressed
you fucking miscreant
itemizer, atomizer
not quite womanizer
not quite salted, not quite covered in tears
cheers, cap'n
for strawberry flavored miracles
for gelatin prophylactics
for galaxies of missed opportunities and
embarrassing efforts
here's that girl who laughed in your ugly face
you fucking beast
magnus
cheers, friend
it's best of times worst of times time
it's go time
it's condoms and strawberry cake
raining from the dead sky
chlumsky
you fucking miracle
why ask why

appendectomy sketch

me and old man reiser
on the hilltop
a pair of cards if I ever saw!

we traded scalpels
and admired the failing light
o'er the burning mortuary

it grew late
and we packed up our things
and sashayed down the freeway

later that year
i found out he died in a boating accident
and i wept whale tears

we scattered his ashes
against the backdrop of the frozen north
and never spoke of it again

it's all true
i got cut open
it actually happened

bone free

whirly and bone
free

as the monolith(s) rise from
the flattened face
of b-movie icon
steve railsback

bone free

free to roam the dead earth
a dearth of foam
a tree of read
a trauma to the brain socket
a trip to the market with the milkmaid
a brutal and vainglorious legerdemain
a rail, back

free of roaming charges
and free money to change your life
thanks mr lesko
now i've got the aids again

so it came to pass
bone free

Notes on the Cast of a Shell Oil Promotional Video

Faber is the Jaap
Teunissen as Max
Teunissen as Max
Faber is the Jaap

Jaap
Max
Faber
Teunissen
Jaap

I Will Make You Live in a Castle

I will make you live in a castle

You'll see to the end of your problems there
You'll drink from gold-plated fountains
You'll see the end of the tunnel
You'll make breakfast in a dimly lit nook
You'll see gods and horrors
You'll think of better times
You'll see to the end of that bottle

I will make you live in a castle