oh man

Man
Man oh man
Holy shit

Sweet mother
Of christ
Holy fucking
Shit

Oh man

Sweet Jesus
Sweet Christ
Sweet holy mother
Of fucking shit

Fuck
Holy fuck
Man

Man
Oh man

Shit

friendly taco

Friendly taco
Let's shake on it
Let's high five
For good measure
For a fond time
Friendly taco

Friendly taco
The world's your oyster
Oyster tacos
Kind of gross
Sorry about the
Metaphor
Friendly taco

Friendly taco
Meadows of light
Victims of circumstance
United in fear
Covered in hot sauce
We are the same
You and I
Friendly taco

So it came to pass
Friendly
Taco

Sir, There Seems to Be a Yacht Growing Out of Your Face

Excuse me, sir
There seems to be
Some sort of yacht
Growing out of your
Face

There seems to be
Some sort of
Disposable income
Clumped in landmines
On your lawn

There appears to be
A cluster of silverfish
In the clutches of psychosis
Starving angrily
In your mud room

There may also be
Gentlemen of stature
Beards of silken wonder
Touching themselves
Inappropriately
As blood-soaked ascots
Rain from the dead
Sky

Sir
I'm sorry
No shirt
No shoes
No service
No exit

i am scared

Frozen
As golden scabs
Rain down
From infected clouds
Lateral transfer
Of nightmares

You're watching
She's All That
On USA
Brought to you by
Yoplait
Your flaxen hair
Frozen in place
Fear mask
Frozen in place
Rhesus climbs your
Frozen face
Scream
Prick
Scab

It's a brand new day
Soothing lite rock
Throbbing infections
Shrieking chimps
You know
The usual

You have it in
Your blood

today i bought an iPhone gun

today
i bought an iPhone gun
i took out a fat wad
of dirty cash and engaged in
capitalism

i took my iPhone gun
to the park and shot
iPhones at homeless people
and laughed the laugh
of a rich and satisfied
male

i shot iPhones high into
the bloodshot sky
and watched them rain down
touch-screen technology
on unsuspecting patrons
of businesses
and small, small children
and giants alike

i shot iPhones until i ran out
then i bought some more
i shot them into the deep blue
yonder and bludgeoned the
faces of the meek and the
skulls of the underprivileged

i breathed in the sweet and
sickening stench of burning plastic
and savvy marketing
and i licked my dry lips
and tasted blood and
butter and
success

today i bought
an iPhone gun
today